Have you ever stopped and thought about what causes worrying? Often times, our tendency to worry stems from the fact that our human mind is inclined to immediately label something as bad if it doesn’t conform to our pre-determined how, what, when, where, and who of our lives. This includes situations such as:
(1) when things don’t happen the way we think it should happen (how)
(2) when our specific standard of how things are supposed to look like is not met (what)
(3) when the timing of how our lives should be unfolding got off-track (when)
(4) when the manner in which things should play out in our physical environment has suddenly changed (where and who)
We have created this habit of wanting things to look a certain way or be a certain way for us to view our lives as working out. And if something deviates from it, we create tension in our minds and conclude that something is going wrong, or that I must be doing things by mistake. We put effort in controlling things and figuring out all the details, sacrificing the way we feel right now. We are pushing against the present moment and are not in peaceful acceptance of the way our life is unfolding.
This kind of scenario only increases the negative emotion that we feel. The way we’re feeling is not really because of what happened, but because of our “perception” about what happened (what we think of it and how we interpret it).
The Solution:
When you let go of immediately judging things as right or wrong, you are creating the space to be able to accept the present moment as it is. You become free of the resistance and bondage from the negative emotion.
One thing that is essentially needed to be able to stop worrying and stressing about life, and feel negative about things as they happen is to let go of the thinking that there is only one right way as to how things should play out in your life. Let go of the habit of judging things as wrong if they do not conform to your standard of how it’s “supposed” to be. This will eliminate the need to try so hard to control the conditions and feel powerless in the process. And will lead to a feeling of relief, an open-mindedness, and freedom from the bondage of negative emotion when things don’t go your way.
A Simple Technique:
One simple technique to use is to practice the art of constructive MAYBES or positive WHAT IFS. This is the habit of being open to the many right ways (and there are plenty) in which your life can positively unfold, and not limiting it by what our human mind thinks is the “only” right way. Never trust the physical appearances of things, and always remember that this unlimited Universe is capable of providing an infinite number of ways that you cannot even comprehend or make sense of right now.
Using constructive maybes will allow your energy to flow toward the infinite possibilities that are available. Thinking about them will attract these positive connections to your physical reality. Whenever you catch yourself worrying, practice saying to yourself things like:
MAYBE this is how it’s supposed to happen right now.
MAYBE this is what I need in this moment.
MAYBE this is leading me to something better.
MAYBE there are many right avenues to what I want.
MAYBE this is allowing me to keep my options open.
MAYBE this is teaching me to let go of controlling conditions I do not have control of.
MAYBE this is a redirection to what is truly meant for me.
or…
WHAT IF this is actually part of things working out.
WHAT IF something really great is coming out of this.
WHAT IF this is just a temporary test so I will be more clear about what I want.
WHAT IF this is a new beginning that life is calling me towards.
The goal is not to force outcomes but rather to soothe the way you feel. Start general and continue moving towards specific maybes or possibilities. This will lighten up your grip on what you think is supposed to be happening and will ease the tension on controlling outcomes. It will cultivate a positive expectation in you for good things coming, and it will open your mind for new ideas and probabilities that you may not have access to when you continuously insist that something had gone wrong. Keep calm amidst uncertainties because maybe, just right around the corner is what you’ve been truly seeking.
Over to you…
What do you think about this technique on how to stop worrying and stressing about life? Share your thoughts by commenting below!
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Blessings to you, and namaste 🙂
